I learnt it THE HARD WAY !!

Tongue, the boneless part of body, very flexible, is capable of slipping anytime (oh ho!! Abe apne gande sapno ke ghode roko)…every word coming out has value.

In my endeavor to get the breathing entertainment in my exceptionally free final semester of MBA, I stooped down to old hindi movies (which I missed coz I wanted to). Zinda…recommended by kartik.

The movie was about havoc a NOT NECESSARY extra sentence can bring in life, then the revenge from the other side carried over the years, creating catastrophe in the lives of both parties.

Though the movie was exaggerated left, right & center but the crux is true for lives of each one of us. Remember, DIL CHAHTA HAI as one more example. Few days back, similar NOT NECEASSARY extra sentences has brought my group on the verge of irreversible damage, hopefully it was saved somehow. Again, recently I rambled something I shouldn’t have, hurting someone not only at that point of time but damaging all the friendly memories in retrospection (I hope that SOMEONE is generous enough not to think that much).

Question is not the enormity of the damage done, question is WHY? In our clique (word introduced to me by kartik again, which I probably I use more than him), we often talk mindlessly, most of the times to make fun & more than those most of times…not thinking about the very meaning of it. We never mean them literally, or probably we just want to say something when everyone is (“its my chance” types), to get noticed or to gain the clique’s (m sorry kartik if its used absurdly) acceptance.

The beauty lies in the ignorance of the response of human mind, As BEAUTY LIES IN THE EYES OF BEHOLDER, SENSE OF THE STATEMENT LIES IN THE MIND OF LISTENER… people aware of the etymology & semantics tend to use it to think out of the box (which mostly complicates life)…

Despite being the student of marketing in 4^th best B-School of the country (ok, now stop laughing…) where COMMUNICATION, the 2^nd most used word after CUSTOMER***…I firmly believe that friends are the only people in front of whom you can speak before thinking, At least I do…& so paid for it !!

 

LEARNING: Use your tongue in controlled manner, but don’t worry…there will be TIME when u don’t need to  ;) 

***conclusion based on my memories of great speeches of our proffs in the classes I ATTENDED, so don’t use it in your research papers ;)

 

It never remains same !!

Life doesn’t always remain equally green

It’s never an extension of what you have seen

Along the way, few unexpected twists & turns

Add extra smiles, giggles, cuts & burns!!

 

Daily news predicts the climatic change

Political whirlpool & cultural exchange

Change is the biggest constant I heard

Unfortunately couldn’t realize it, till the end!!

 

I wanted to live the way it was going

Expecting so much without even knowing

That things won’t always go the way I frame

Can’t say what but surely something has changed!!

 

Though I am an ardent advocate of change

But every change has an acceptable range

Beyond which it’s out of control

Piercing deep beneath heart & soul!!

My take-away from life at 23 !!

In the past few years, As I experienced different aspects of my small life, met different people, lived in unexpectedly, many a times unacceptable environments, numerous incidents which unconsciously influenced my social & attitudinal DNA helped me realize my take away/learning from life. In short, let's see...

• Rule One…No rules
  

If u want something u never had, u need to do what u have never done. For this, u need to get away with the rules based on past life or happenings which are not going to be repeated since u want something that never was. I am not against basic social or academic framework which gives nutrition to free thoughts but I am against the unwanted religious, political & especially moral regulation of life. Don’t allow your life to be propelled by other’s examples, set your own.

• Love yourself
  

Against the general perception, loving yourself doesn’t means being selfish & if it then let it be. It means respecting your decisions, experiencing your presence in every breath & enjoying being yourself. Believe me, nothing wrong in it.

• It’s not always grey, sometimes it’s black & white    
  

Sometimes u can’t content yourself with something out of full, in those sometimes it’s one or none, yes or no. Everywhere u won’t find “the middle way” or “most optimized solution” as they say in management.

• Listen to all but ultimately zero on what your heart say
  

It’s really important to listen to others on anything coz an individual by inheritance is unable to look at every aspect & hence such listening will allow you to weigh different options available. But while making a decision don’t allow any foreign thought to influence coz in the end its you who has to face whatever comes as consequence & u should be at least satisfied that you chose the result

• Whatever you dream, chase it to your last breath
  

There can be nothing worse than realizing that u were just short of your aim & if u had done “A Bit” extra, u could be the winner. Live your dream & never let your conscious realize that it’s beyond your reach. Again, let me clear myself, I am not saying that by doing this you would be successful every time but you would be satisfied with your efforts for sure

• You can’t satisfy all, set your priorities
  

Unfortunate truth of life, if your decision is a consequence of your efforts to satisfy all…my apologies, actually no one is satisfied completely. Everyone will crib about that iota more that could be done in their view & this is your ultimate defeat. Prioritize your target beneficiaries. Whenever this term is flash in your mind, u think of your parents whose real happiness is in your happiness…so think again

• Execution is more important
  

You dream on your soft matrices in the warmth of your blanket but to bring it to reality, u need to burn the mid night oil. The bigger u dream, the more oil u need

 

Heart has no brain !!

Is bar no gyan, simple story:

My friend, say Y, is proposed by someone, say X. In few days of same age old romantic talks (which apparently are new to every new budding pair), Y realizes that this relation can’t go long. Being a very matured & straight forward person, he told this to X who is already 75% dip in the whirlpool of sweet dreams. X is stranded, shattered to virtually nothing. Even in the dreams, X dint expected this but there is a choice, whether to forget Y or continue as a friend.

What bulshit? Is that a choice, it is like to get killed by JHATKA or take a HALAL route. This is not possible, because as a person you continue to expect same from the relation life long, you can’t start looking at person the way you never did.

Using brain, why not continue as friend boss, at least you will REMAIN NEAREST TO WHAT IS CLOSEST TO YOUR HEART. But boss, your HEART HAS NO BRAIN, it wants something in a particular way in which no change accepted. Gyan thrown below in "Change or Perish" is true if limited to guest lectures on human psychology because if there is a choice of change or perish, it is sometimes easier to perish.

In life I would say: If you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Saala, main bhi na kya bakwaas kar raha hun, class main padte hain change management, change masters, predict the change n all but trust me… some changes are worth dying against.

Change or perish !!

Human tendency to resist change is not just a cliché; it’s a dark truth responsible for his own pain & worries. There is a very wide scope in which he follows this tradition in his life, be it his likings, his working, his relations & what not.
Its probably we human beings are so skewed in our view that we look at the things in a particular perspective, I am not saying its being selfish, its been dogmatic. Its about expecting an outcome or an experience from a certain set of conditions based on past records. Circumstances are dynamic, & we the slaves of our own traditions tend to ignore that dynamism. Hence, we find a deviation in our expectation, I explain this by Expectation Experience Equivalence (EEE).

Expectation – Experience = Dissatisfaction

Clearly, when we expect more & experience less, we get dissatisfied.

I know, the only question in your mind is, How do I come across so much gyan or better Why the hell I am throwing it mindlessly? Good question indeed, answer is again I experienced something like that.

Few relations are born to die !!

Do relations come with an expiry date as medicines? Yes, they do…the only difference that you don’t know that date in advance. Sometimes in life you just can’t predict, am I rambling at the moment? Am I looking as an extremely confused person who wants to write something sentimental but is not successful for sure or am I looking as some frustrated person just came out of a break up. Sorry boss, neither case, I just happened to be lucky to experience something which I never did. Boasted all my life of never losing a friend, this time made sure I lose one.
You meet a lot of people in life, few COME close, few REMAIN close. For these people you do something, bear something, tolerate something and sacrifice something. Is there any limit you bear something for them? Unfortunately yes, there is a limit which is called self‐respect. Once it’s been hit, you feel shattered, that too by someone……….Anyways!!
Always, you will find two ways of doing one thing, one which is right (heart led) & one which is convenient (mind led). You always have to chose one, & I always chose the right. Right to what I believe, right to teachings I am brought up with, right to my heart, in short right to me, may not be to others.

Back to the context, somehow got hurt, deep inside. All past conversations suddenly started floating in front of my eyes with altogether different meaning, meaning which I never meant. Confronted with same dilemma ‐ Either forget this & close the topic right there…or…FORGET that (person) & CLOSE everything RIGHT there. No marks for guessing, I chose to be second. Tell me, is there any point of dragging hollow relations where everything will be supposedly fine one fine day & our friend TIME will heal everything.

Personal experience so you are allowed to sue me for this. Unfortunately, time doesn’t heal anything until you provide it with strong reason to do the same. Time only give you time to get deviated & think beyond but bloody feelings remain intact. Its better to remove that poisoned part of yours which will kill you steadily every second.

But you know what, beyond all this gyan & jazzy enlightenment, there is a simple man who also get hurtwhen he took hard step & plan his own death. Thanks to google, I got a place for this emotional vomit. More thanks to you to bear these crappy lines, I must be someone CLOSE to you, isn’t that? ☺