Heart has no brain !!

Is bar no gyan, simple story:

My friend, say Y, is proposed by someone, say X. In few days of same age old romantic talks (which apparently are new to every new budding pair), Y realizes that this relation can’t go long. Being a very matured & straight forward person, he told this to X who is already 75% dip in the whirlpool of sweet dreams. X is stranded, shattered to virtually nothing. Even in the dreams, X dint expected this but there is a choice, whether to forget Y or continue as a friend.

What bulshit? Is that a choice, it is like to get killed by JHATKA or take a HALAL route. This is not possible, because as a person you continue to expect same from the relation life long, you can’t start looking at person the way you never did.

Using brain, why not continue as friend boss, at least you will REMAIN NEAREST TO WHAT IS CLOSEST TO YOUR HEART. But boss, your HEART HAS NO BRAIN, it wants something in a particular way in which no change accepted. Gyan thrown below in "Change or Perish" is true if limited to guest lectures on human psychology because if there is a choice of change or perish, it is sometimes easier to perish.

In life I would say: If you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Saala, main bhi na kya bakwaas kar raha hun, class main padte hain change management, change masters, predict the change n all but trust me… some changes are worth dying against.

Change or perish !!

Human tendency to resist change is not just a cliché; it’s a dark truth responsible for his own pain & worries. There is a very wide scope in which he follows this tradition in his life, be it his likings, his working, his relations & what not.
Its probably we human beings are so skewed in our view that we look at the things in a particular perspective, I am not saying its being selfish, its been dogmatic. Its about expecting an outcome or an experience from a certain set of conditions based on past records. Circumstances are dynamic, & we the slaves of our own traditions tend to ignore that dynamism. Hence, we find a deviation in our expectation, I explain this by Expectation Experience Equivalence (EEE).

Expectation – Experience = Dissatisfaction

Clearly, when we expect more & experience less, we get dissatisfied.

I know, the only question in your mind is, How do I come across so much gyan or better Why the hell I am throwing it mindlessly? Good question indeed, answer is again I experienced something like that.

Pappu can dance saala !!

Again an example of my random life. Rotten in the boredom of freedom, Bansal’s offer to dance in college fest (Transloocent) came as desperate shrug in a dead body. Karan who was planning his eveready expedition to Mumbai (though its his hometown, I let u all decide why he has become so frequent traveler), suddenly decided to postpone his LOVEly trip (miracle indeed) to have a duet with me .
I could never, even in my wildest dreams, refuse a chance to dance (chance pe dance karna is marketing..Pappu!!). 2 days left & suddenly I found myself busy, not exactly busy but probably found a reason to survive for next couple of days. Suddenly, couple of hour gap between classes, which used to leave me in the dilemma (whether to go to hostel, consume half of the time in walking & have a irritated stop in a Would Be Cozy sleep or whether to do “bird watching” in canteen), used to come as a welcome surprises for me. Karan was usually at his room (FYI…he is in HR).
We used to run to my room, rehearse lastly so called “final” steps & then try to fill the highly elongated music with draught storage of “dance steps”. My bed which for few days had been habitual of bearing me on it, had to wait looking at me awfully jumping in front of it but not on it. But trust me, my mind was pretty happy to see that it wasn’t forced to roam directionless to find some employment for me
So the D-Day arrived, having prepared with best we could do, I was somehow excited to be on stage for the first time for dance, pinged everyone on my gtalk list to invite them. Coincidently all of them had one thing common in their response “hehe, tu dance kar raah hun”. But trust me such sarcastic remark for my work or any opposition to my way always give me unusual/weird boost to do whatever m doing.
Anyways, that boost somehow phewed as soon as I reached the stage & I found myself asking Karan, which is the first song in our medley. For sure, Karan would have felt his legs trembling in his expensive black cargo. Oh! I remembered my dress sourcing: T-Shirt from Aditya, Jeans from Ankit, Shirt from Anuroop & my shoes from Akshay….so 4 A’s required to make one Anshu.
The support of crowd at my each step was actually was big boost. One confession to make, at 3rd song I checked Karan if he had forgot the step he used to, but then I actually forgot the same. Post performance market reviews were very encouraging mainly coz nobody expected me to be there, (Courtesy PAT). Another confession, the 2nd song sequence which was liked actually was somehow inserted in last few hours to make our theme visible (Karan would again agree).
One thing what I conclude through this is that we should sometime let life flow freely the it want, unexpected adventure & random decisions have their own sweet taste.

Few relations are born to die !!

Do relations come with an expiry date as medicines? Yes, they do…the only difference that you don’t know that date in advance. Sometimes in life you just can’t predict, am I rambling at the moment? Am I looking as an extremely confused person who wants to write something sentimental but is not successful for sure or am I looking as some frustrated person just came out of a break up. Sorry boss, neither case, I just happened to be lucky to experience something which I never did. Boasted all my life of never losing a friend, this time made sure I lose one.
You meet a lot of people in life, few COME close, few REMAIN close. For these people you do something, bear something, tolerate something and sacrifice something. Is there any limit you bear something for them? Unfortunately yes, there is a limit which is called self‐respect. Once it’s been hit, you feel shattered, that too by someone……….Anyways!!
Always, you will find two ways of doing one thing, one which is right (heart led) & one which is convenient (mind led). You always have to chose one, & I always chose the right. Right to what I believe, right to teachings I am brought up with, right to my heart, in short right to me, may not be to others.

Back to the context, somehow got hurt, deep inside. All past conversations suddenly started floating in front of my eyes with altogether different meaning, meaning which I never meant. Confronted with same dilemma ‐ Either forget this & close the topic right there…or…FORGET that (person) & CLOSE everything RIGHT there. No marks for guessing, I chose to be second. Tell me, is there any point of dragging hollow relations where everything will be supposedly fine one fine day & our friend TIME will heal everything.

Personal experience so you are allowed to sue me for this. Unfortunately, time doesn’t heal anything until you provide it with strong reason to do the same. Time only give you time to get deviated & think beyond but bloody feelings remain intact. Its better to remove that poisoned part of yours which will kill you steadily every second.

But you know what, beyond all this gyan & jazzy enlightenment, there is a simple man who also get hurtwhen he took hard step & plan his own death. Thanks to google, I got a place for this emotional vomit. More thanks to you to bear these crappy lines, I must be someone CLOSE to you, isn’t that? ☺

It was fun !!

Sometimes randomness in life adds revitalizing spice to it, refuel it for the rest of journey. Tired of the boring lectures & propelled by the awesome climate, 8 of us decided to touch the peak of small mountain near the campus & return back in say an hour or so. When you listen to your heart at every step, its may not be the technically, socially right path you follow but when you plan the unplanned, you enjoy for sure…
Played in –out with small pebble to decide whether we are trekking up or down. What….? We are going down the slippery, grassy slides in heavy rains to see that golf course…my god you people are CRAZY. Yups, we are…we are Ocean’s
Raining heavily, slipping down the rocks & mud (taking pics regularly…o’course), couple of hours of indecisive & kiddish decisions at every slip to move down further without a thought of return, we were somehow approaching the golf course. The same beautiful scene we admired everyday from campus was looking approachable. Soiled in the temptation of fun & nature, we ignored all logic & continued.
To our bad luck, golf course was restricted to members only…thrashed we decided to return. Saw a tractor, all 8 dogs chased it to the last breadth (though jassi won the race but lost the tractor). Heavy legs, broken heart, galloping lungs we walked till we find our Mr. Right (haha..Tata Ace to be precise). Again all 8 dogs as in municipality van crowded the luggage area, shouting, singing & expecting a U-Turn to the campus which never came…misunderstanding took us to Pune Bangalore highway. A simple lift converted to a hired taxi, driver expecting the money from us & to add to the already going adventure, none of us had even a single penny. Thanks to technological development, one of us carried virtual money…an ATM card
At last reached the right place, bus waiting for us…but something had already cooked in half of us. What about a late night movie? Assembly again stuck at 50% votes. An old saying, “do what you feel is right, not what is comfortable”. Idea of movie was neither right nor comfortableJ but mischievous three (needless to say, I was one) had to do something. They stayed… reserved late night movie tickets, then ate whatever in the capacity at Manmeet, involved Akshay, pity on him to be with us.
Movie was just the type we wanted that moment. The most terrible questioned which we never gave thought… NOW WHAT?
Jiska koi nahi hota, uski govt. hoti hai (Indian Railways), equipped with a blanket, found a relatively cleaner patch of platform to sit on, blabbered all night till we were moved by outsourced sweepersJ. Anyways a satisfaction of doing what your mischievous heart sometimes desires overcame our ego. In the end…it was fun !!